pork



spark. spizz. spop.

my aunt georgia is on myspace under alaskan lady.

i'm freaking out now.

candy heats her eats with fingers that are divided into pudgy segments. with oval fingernails sculpted onto her fingertips.

carolyn accepted joes engagement proposition. where will you live? marin or the city?

maybe both.

he's older. by 20 years. so that makes him 70. what a life. i can't even imagine 40. its great how young i feel with marin folk. young. and stupid.

i've been thinking about stars. and selling cars. and once i get enough cars sold, i'll win a new car in the company contest. and then rowdy and i will drive to LA. and i'll have enough to survive. for a while. and then i'll get my quiet photo job. and we can be fancy on nights when we feel it. and beach on days when we reel it.

glass



cute nose. white tee. round spectacles. bowl haircut. 40 inch waist. 5'11 maybe 12.
so nervous as you asked me if i wanted the room to be dimmed.
fumbling with your computer screen.
stuttering about the confidentiality.
first marinite who had me wondering a words definition.
for some reason i walked away thinking you might be the one who needs what you gave me.
after asking permission of course.
i was unfortunately had to be the glass. and in the end it will all be based on permissions. and of course the coins that you so hesitantly gave me 300 of.
thanks.

1946

i've decided to pick a year, and be obsessed with it for a week or maybe 2 hours.

current year is 46.

reading that diane keaton, oliver stone, and suzane somers were born that year caused me to go "wow".

whats so great about being born?

and then gertrude stein, alfred steiglitz and w.c. fields all died. another wow.

garbage in garbage out.

world war 2 was officially over.

near

there was a black string thong laying on the garage floor, next to the head boss' porshe today.
you had to pass the dropped thong on the way to work, as it was also laying next to the door the building.
it was the talk of the town.
sure we all want it to be something insane,
but most likely it was a result of static cling.

a certain cling.

ouch

the goth is hurt.
backs gone out.
girl goth comes over.
candles lit. dark fabrics unfurled.
they laugh. he says ouch. so sweetly.
she says "don't laugh".

its funny how pain unites. there is a kid my neo geo brother rolls with. kid named gavin had a stoke last night. had to be brought to the hospital. huh? the hospital? geos says its a good thing his family will foot the bill. mom says "what are you talking about" geo says he ain't never goin to the hospital for nuthin'.
friend doesn't even get out of the car to help geo move.
yet geo says to mom that he wants his friends to simply hold him, and tell him everything is going to be OK.
if he had a stroke one day.
like gavin.

vas

is my mobile mechanic.

mechanic visit, originally uploaded by hellodeer.


from romania.
that means he is better than AAA. and much cheaper.
as long as you are okay with going with him to tow things
and tune things
and as long as you are okay with buying him coffee, and maybe another pack.
he's all yours.
he makes things called "magic bubble wands" on the side.
with his lawyer friend allen.
has a dog named rosie. that he also calls gigi, chichi, girlie, cutie, and muffy.
50's. lived in marin since 80. moved to nyc in the 70's.
has round classes like georgeburns.
wears pants like woody allen.
collects photo equipment, and bikes, and racecars of course.
really, vas is my godsend.
he lets me pay when i want. he is almost like a father to me. in the godfather of cars sense. no. he is ginger's father. ginger is my car.
he just wants me to be safe. and happy. as he says.
he says things like "funny accent" "have a happy evening" and "fucking hell" a lot.
he quit dope 6 months ago. but not cigs.
american spirits. cuz he's a true blood californian.
told me about a couple of trails in ignacio. with creeks.
i spent about 5hours with this man today. learning and listening to the ins and outs of his life.
he is a dating a romanian nanny in tiburon. her name is ann. anna in romanian.
she's gotta be young. i didn't ask.
he has a patchwork quilt. covered in grease, doghair, and a guitar.
i wonder what he plays. i'm sure oldworldromanian stuff.
has friends across the county. knows ed who can get me new seats.
knows joe - the mercedes mechanic.
vas specializes in german autos.
invited me over to read the bmw book he has.
but its in german. "thats the book i use to fix your car."
"okay vas. whatever you say."
"i fix your car for you."
"yes. thank you. but remember - i am not rich. i can put you on my payroll essentially. when i get paid - you get paid."
"lets shake on it."
"thanks vas. people like you don't exist today."
"i know. the world is crazy. yes?"
"just a little off."
"i make your car safe."
"thanks."

game

my office is in a building that also houses a creative company who sources for disney. we call the other building inhabitants the "disney kids".
the disney kids are fun. they fly helicopters in the open lobby

, originally uploaded by anise.

and once on break we found that they turned an empty hallway into a shooting range for nerf bullets. there is a target, and a gun setup. nerf means soft type bullets. like a nerf ball.
so the disney kids are primarily 1. male, 2. young, 3. single, 4. tech dorks, 5. loaded, 6. socially fucked because of number 4. seriously people. theses kids are glued to the computer screen.
either way - they are 1, 2, 3 and 5, so its a single woman's PARADISE.
over the past few months, our female office has been devising ways to infiltrate the disney kids office. we have had post-it wars, we have talked to them on break, and once, i ran into one of them at trivia night downtown on thursdays. but the main way i've infiltrated is this one time i saw one of them walking up the hill. i pulled over and offered him a ride. he was super cool and funny, and told me about the missing gnome that used to sit outside the office. so that was cool.
the point of my story: being in this office building setting is like being back in high school. you see all these cool people in the hallways on break - but never really talk to them? so over time you get to know their faces, and well, develop crushed on them, etc.
currently i've got 2 crushes going on. one with a tall guy, and one with a shorter guy - well he's probably just my height - but i consider that short in guy world. so the shorter one has more personality. you can tell by the way he dresses. also he hangs with the rougher crowd of tech nerds (ie the guy with the mowhawk, and the guy who smokes). the taller one looks very wholesome, and is proabably in a long term relationship. either way, its a crush. i'm pushing for the shorter one.
today on break, carolyn and i were out on the steps getting some sun. the shorter one was out in the hallway. i made eye contact, and then took a picture of one of the palm trees. kind of like a primal mating dance. i was saying to him "look i can be creative too." and he just stared. and then he went back to his office. a few moments later i caught him walking the hall again, watching us laugh and enjoy our break. so i snapped another picture (primal mating dance for creative types) and smiled.
can i just say this all makes my day? i mean, its something fun to look forward too. its a reason to dress smart.

ioway citay

josh foxhead
pretentious (sorry but)
scrapbook
quiet
aaron foxhead
"his bitch of a wife had him buried in CT" of f.l.w.
doesn't drive. doesn't plan on driving.
gave me a list of songbirds of which cardinal is a member
gave us a new route - 1 to 151 -
queens of dairy
people of pizza
quiet early night.
trying to understand relations. close proximity.
different languages

chee kago

hot dog shops condiment piles
thick swede pancakes
breakfast sausage meet balls
big ticket items
carols smokey dancey oldtimey
no window bars
heavy on the bricks
liquor store bar
plaid shirt mustache mike
sing wilco opera
gutter roll national
airy trumpet shit
tummy tired a bit
curvy building oprah
campus fall walking

stuart starts his day with juice
sure that travel items not very green
of me
guilt but consume more

painful commercial
fast beer
lake! park space! RABBIT!
hazy emily with mosquito bites for breasts.
well maybe more like chicken cutlets
roman nose ponytail bopping boom
bears hat husky standing box
roommate rage
microwaved eggs
theatre thrift
frat grabs sponge at target. stuart anise laugh.
same brain theory.
lost in the ghetto
dabears explained duh beers
mymindisfilledwithsilverystars
reverbneverunderstoodtilnow
distancehasawayofmakingloveunderstandable
and i'm at my peak!
can'tgetenoughofthatradiocurereverb

slow curb

my learning curb is sometimes off. thing is, i'm actually pretty smart. i'm simply rather modest.
well, in a thinking sense. however. you can talk me into anything.
well, within reason.
drinking sure does make this lock with chain,,, break a bit.
and smoking sure does instill doubts and deeps.
deeps that mean nothing.
anyway.
i can i can i can
be upset
or
i am i am i am
amazing
boutiful
taco salad
fruit with oatmeal
chipper
mint with cacao.

i am
chickpeas and avocado.
sunflowerseedsbakedbeanscashewcheeseguac
daily special

hairspraybangs eyeswithlines dirtysweater girlswithhugs standbywork listenintoothers drinksomebeer keepheraround getmorebeer mtvmade 5.6ontherichterscale

oh yeah

i wish i could remember that cartoon i thought up while having a slice of pizza the other day.
and whats the morrisey about it, is that at the time i said "self: don't forget this one." and i said "of course i'm not going to forget. its brilliant!"
"maybe you should put it in a draft text message."
"but my battery is dead. that is a sign that i will remember"

i forget.